The “Check Engine” Light of Life: A Survival Guide to Adulting

Let’s be honest: no one actually hands you a manual when you turn eighteen. You just wake up one day and realize that “dinner” is now a problem you have to solve every single night for the rest of your life, and “taxes” isn’t just a boring word from Monopoly—it’s a looming deadline that involves spreadsheets and mild panic.

If you feel like you’re just three kids in a trench coat pretending to know how mortgages work, welcome to the club. Here’s the truth about adulting: everyone is winging it.


1. The Paradox of the “Big Purchase”

When you’re a kid, you think being an adult means buying whatever toy you want. As an adult, you realize the “big purchase” is actually a high-quality vacuum cleaner or a fridge with an ice dispenser that doesn’t scream.

The Tip: Invest in things that touch the ground—tires, mattresses, and shoes. Your back (and your bank account) will thank you in five years.

2. The Social Battery Drain

In your teens, a Friday night in was a tragedy. In your late twenties and thirties, a canceled plan is a gift from the heavens. Learning to say “no” without a paragraph of excuses is the ultimate adult superpower.

The Tip: Protect your peace. You don’t need to attend every brunch to stay a good friend. Real friends understand that sometimes “adulting” just means needing a nap.

3. Mastering the “Life Admin”

Adulting is 10% big milestones and 90% “Life Admin.” This includes:

  • Calling the insurance company.
  • Checking the expiration date on the milk.
  • Remembering that the air filter needs changing.
  • Booking the dentist appointment you’ve avoided since 2023.

Pro-Move: If a task takes less than two minutes (like hanging up a coat or replying to a text), do it immediately. Your future, less-stressed self will love you for it.

4. Health is a Long Game

You can no longer survive on caffeine and spite alone. Eventually, your body starts sending you “push notifications” in the form of random knee pain or a three-day hangover from two glasses of wine.

The Tip: Hydrate. It’s the most cliché advice for a reason. Drinking water solves roughly 60% of most minor adult problems.


The Bottom Line

Adulting isn’t about reaching a destination where you finally “have it all figured out.” It’s about managing the chaos with a bit of grace and a lot of humor. If you managed to eat a vegetable today and paid at least one bill on time, you’re doing better than you think.

Keep going. You’re doing great, even if the “check engine” light is still on.

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